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Lessons of the Three-Dot Ghosting Saga


You’ve seen it.


You text someone, anxiously excited about their response.


They read it.


You see the three dots.






No response. No reply.


Well, whatever! What? You couldn’t take a second to say, “Got it.”?


Okay, this might not be the most profound blog I’ve ever posted (or maybe so), but here are three lessons from getting the three-dot ghosting.


Lesson Number One: Get over yourself.


Something more important than instantly responding to you may be happening. Perhaps the person is in a meeting. Maybe they are driving and can’t (or shouldn’t) reply.


Lesson Number Two: Some people are wise enough to want to respond rather than react.


We react instantly. We typically respond, however, after some reflection. In my experience, reactions are risky, while responses are relational. Often, a healthy reply takes time.


Lesson Number Three: Pick up the phone to call them and talk.


Yes, talk. I know. I know. I’m old and talking is so yesterday. However, it’s challenging to hear tone in a text unless you use more emojis than words. And the tone of how something is said can change everything. I suggest that words matter and are best heard and understood in a real, live conversation.


Am I anti-texting?


Nope. I do it all the time.


But when it truly matters, I want to hear—and better yet, see you—and you, me. So, let’s Facetime or sit down over a cup of java and chat.


My aching thumbs will thank you.


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Kurt W. Bubna published his first book with Tyndale in 2013 and has published six other books. Bubna is an internationally recognized blogger, a conference and retreat speaker, and an experienced leadership coach. Kurt is also the Founding Pastor of Eastpoint Church, a non-denominational congregation in Spokane Valley, Washington. He and his wife, Laura, married in 1975, have four grown children, and ten grandchildren.

This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. Mary Ann McKnight

    You could do an entire sermon on what appears to be ghosting. Is God ghosting me because He didn’t answer my prayers right away? Is God mad at me because He didn’t respond when I really needed Him? So many more questions. And no, I don’t believe God ghosts anyone at any time.

    1. KurtBubna

      Good idea! Maybe even a follow-up blog at some point. Thank you! You are loved…

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